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Backyard Adventures

Backyard Adventures

Post-Christmas blahs have set in. Children are lolling about the house, and I got a couple of nice checks for Christmas. Time for a jump start. Steve Wymore is manager of Backyard Adventures in San Marcos ...

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O Christmas Tree

O Christmas Tree

O Christmas tree! O Christmas tree!Thy leaves are so unchanging...Not only green when summer’s here,But also when ’tis cold and drear... Hubby Patrick heckled me with his singing because our Christmas tree’s leaves were anything ...

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Holiday Goose

Holiday Goose

We don’t argue politics at Kelly family gatherings; we argue menus. I want something exotic for Christmas dinner, something fancy. Ma Kelly insists on something traditional. Husband Patrick just wants something that tastes good, “and ...

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Christmas Films

Christmas Films

Our street is aglow with candy cane lights, snow globe Santas, and icicle lights. The chilly nights bring the smell of wood fires in the ... More Post a comment

Christmas Malling

Christmas Malling

Girlfriend Jill wanted to hit the malls, but she needed help. She’s pregnant and has a couple of little ones besides. I called around to ... More Post a comment

Giving Back

Giving Back

The Kelly family needs an injection of charity. The thought was sparked by my son presenting me with a long gift list for Christmas. “We ... More Post a comment

Spice Up Your Bird

Spice Up Your Bird

Casa Kelly has been getting loosey-goosey with the Thanksgiving menu in recent years — lobster, sirloin cap, even lasagna. Not this year — Patrick’s Nana ... More Post a comment

Shears

Shears

My love Patrick is a man of many talents: handyman, gardener, chef, athlete, and baker. Goodness, he even sings opera. Last week he added another ... More Post a comment

Babysitter Schools

Babysitter Schools

‘This recession is taking a toll on my love life,” sighed my friend Tara. “My husband and I used to go out every Friday night. ... More Post a comment

Lip Balmers

Lip Balmers

Had the kids taken an expedition to the Sahara desert? Their lips looked as if they had — white, peeling, cracking, and bleeding. My daughter ... More Post a comment

Glass of Sunshine

Glass of Sunshine

“I’ve had crud in my sinus cavity for three days,” griped my husband Patrick. “When I blow my nose, I’m seeing colors that I normally ... More Post a comment

Cheese Doodles

Cheese Doodles

“Sometimes a man gets a hankering,” my husband Patrick said last week, “a hankering for food of a color rarely found in nature, a hunger ... More Post a comment

Wigged Out

Wigged Out

“Maybe I should just shave my head like that Sinéad woman did,” complained Aunt Azelda, dropping a rare pop-culture reference. Azelda was staring at her ... More Post a comment

Homespun Halloween

Homespun Halloween

Halloween-costume planning around here starts before the previous Halloween’s candy has been eaten. Detailed conversations, elaborate sketches, and shopping lists are tossed about among the ... More Post a comment

Fast Passports

Fast Passports

It’s been a while since I’ve seen my husband Patrick’s impulsive side. But last week was our anniversary, and he surprised me with a trip ... More Post a comment

Air Ads

Air Ads

My nephew Tom needs to sweep his woman off her feet. It seems there was a lovers’ quarrel and feelings were hurt. “What about sending ... More Post a comment

Acupuncture

Acupuncture

“I thought only new parents looked like that,” I said to my friend Cherie, worrying over her glazed eyes and exhausted stare. “It’s been like ... More Post a comment

Best Empanadas

Best Empanadas

The kids rolled and patted. Celia sautéed onions and ground beef. I watched and learned. We were having an Argentinean day in our home. Hot ... More Post a comment

Public Speaking

Public Speaking

“It’s not what you know, it’s who you know,” grumbled my nephew Walt over the phone last week. Two years out of college with a ... More Comment (1)

Emergency Care for Kids

Emergency Care for Kids

At the family reunion swim party last week, there was an accident. Cousin Hugh jumped off the diving board into the water, and on his ... More Comments (2)

Portable Party Potties

Portable Party Potties

'Porta-potties?" asked Patrick, eyebrows raised in disbelief. "You're going to write about porta-potties? Just tell me you aren't going to open with a story about ... More Post a comment

Dancing in Squares

Dancing in Squares

Restlessness grows daily in the Kelly home. Midsummer boredom is percolating in my kids and threatening to boil over. Some new hobbies are needed. Pal ... More Post a comment

Weight-Control Powders

Weight-Control Powders

‘It’s like my body flipped a switch and started storing fat,” lamented my husband Patrick as he stood in front of the mirror. “Ever since ... More Post a comment

Hairbrushes

Hairbrushes

I’ve fought a decade-long battle to keep hairbrushes in the Kelly home. I’ll snatch a few into custody at the store, but once home, they ... More Post a comment

Best Buys

Best Buys

‘When my husband was young and on a swim team, they  didn’t have goggles,” recalled Regina Paradowski of  Paradowski’s Swim & Sports in Kearny Mesa ... More Post a comment

Shin Splints

Shin Splints

“If you want to run, run a mile. If you want to experience a different life, run a marathon.” — Emil Zatopek Hubby Patrick is ... More Comment (1)

Carnival Snacks

Carnival Snacks

I treasure the stability of my childhood years, but my clearest memories are of the breaks from routine — family vacations, the time Dad let ... More Comment (1)

Father's Day Gift Ideas

Father's Day Gift Ideas

"Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope." — Bill Cosby Insert tie for soap-on-a-rope in the Kelly household. Another boring Father’s Day ... More Post a comment

RV Rentals

RV Rentals

My folks have been retired for five years, and they’re spending their golden years on the road. There have been trips to China and Peru ... More Comments (2)

Wake Up!

Wake Up!

Hubby Patrick’s brother Kevin has been a small-time rock musician since he was 18. When he turned 38 this year and the band — Youth ... More Post a comment

Sunless Tans

Sunless Tans

‘I need a tan — now,” said Tara, flopping on my couch and gazing out at the cool, cloudy afternoon. “No, I need it yesterday. ... More Post a comment

Singing Telegrams

Singing Telegrams

I had only seen it done in sitcoms — a giant hairy gorilla proposing to a girl standing shocked at the front door — until ... More Post a comment

Nutritionist

Nutritionist

The afternoon nappies are starting to take their toll on my husband Patrick. Coffee has become his drug of choice. I wondered if there might ... More Comment (1)

Clutter Busters

Clutter Busters

‘Cleanliness and order are not matters of instinct; they are matters of education, and like most great things, you must cultivate a taste for them.” ... More Post a comment

Knife Sharpeners

Knife Sharpeners

Pride goeth... My best gal pal Bernice has a niece, newly engaged and eager to learn the secrets of domestic bliss. Bernice sent her to ... More Post a comment

Cream Me

Cream Me

Remarkable! Each lady I called had a different favorite body lotion. That’s a first for Eve’s surveys. Not one repeat. The search was for a ... More Comment (1)

Water Pumps

Water Pumps

“If I have to evacuate, will you take my goats?” “I’ll take your goats but not your kids!” I still can’t believe I said that. ... More Comments (2)

Paintball

Paintball

My man Patrick will be donning his goggles, taking up his gun, and heading to the field for his first battle. A work colleague has ... More Post a comment

Fishpond

Fishpond

There is something about the combination of longer daylight hours and spring air that brings a hunger for back-yard projects. And it’s been growling in ... More Post a comment

Recycled Booty

Recycled Booty

My jewelry box bears within it the booty of 25 years’ worth of self-adornment, and when I stopped to think about it, I realized that ... More Post a comment

She's a Keeper

She's a Keeper

Spring is here and pal Bernice has soccer on the brain. A layer of dust has descended on her cleats in the closet. Her shoe ... More Comments (2)

Cat Condos

Cat Condos

“Mom, do you call Mrs. Phelan a cat lady because she looks like a cat?” Smart kid. Mrs. Phelan, who works as an aide at ... More Post a comment

Beer!

Beer!

“When I was a child in Mayo,” said my Irish mother as we drove along the Embarcadero, “my aunt used to send me down to ... More Post a comment

Living Space

Living Space

As my mother’s memory gets shorter, the East Coast winters that seep into her bones tend to get longer — especially when she forgets to ... More Post a comment

Pruners

Pruners

The breath of heaven bush encroaches on my garden statuary. In the back yard, the trumpet vine escapes into the neighbor’s yard. And the branches ... More Post a comment

Tat Removal

Tat Removal

I’m not too many years shy of 40, and the anchor tattoo on my ankle has been with me since I was 21. The guy ... More Comment (1)

Cart-Away Concrete

Cart-Away Concrete

My husband Patrick comes down with the home-improvement bug a few times a year. And he’s had it bad lately. He’s tired of the tiny ... More Comment (1)

Astroturfers

Astroturfers

‘I give it ten years before water costs as much as gas costs now,” said Patrick as he looked up from his morning Internet browse. ... More Post a comment

Quilting

Quilting

My daughter was thrilled to sew a baby quilt with Aunt Rose during her Thanksgiving vacation. It would be her first quilt — an Ohio ... More Post a comment

Genie Machine

Genie Machine

‘The emotional traumas of life have permanent or long-lasting effects unless you do something to intervene,” said Dr. Lawrence Stowe, the Stowe Foundation’s managing director ... More Post a comment

Biotherapy

Biotherapy

‘Biotherapy? In La Mesa?” asked my husband as we strolled through town admiring the new shops. “Sounds like something you should check out.” The next ... More Post a comment

Electrical Donations

Electrical Donations

The after-Christmas glut of stuff landed hard on the Kelly home — every surface was laden with goodies waiting to find a place on our ... More Post a comment

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Win Movie Passes to Hotel for Dogs!

When their new guardians forbid 16-year old Andi (Emma Roberts) and her younger brother, Bruce (Jake T. Austin) to have ... More