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The Time Machine

The Time Machine

It was a Sunday morning, the last in November and just after Thanksgiving. The Time Machine, the 1960 George Pal version, came on one of the classic-movie stations, and I could not get out of bed ...

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Christmas on the Loop

Christmas on the Loop

Christmas is getting harder to dodge as a topic, and I may have outwritten that one. I think I have columns running right past that date. Either way, allow me to indulge in a favorite ...

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A Tone of Entitlement

A Tone of Entitlement

We have all by now — or most of us anyway — found ourselves familiar with the phrase “random acts of kindness.” I first saw it on a bumper sticker some years ago: “Practice Random ...

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Just For Men

Just For Men

I will (the mountain or Allah willing) have turned 58 years old by the time this appears, assuming it does at all. Anything I might ... More Comments (2)

I Smoked the Weight of My Own Soul

I Smoked the Weight of My Own Soul

Maitland is standing, fourth from the teller, on Friday afternoon at an undisclosed Hillcrest bank. He is holding a paycheck for $1050 and a deposit ... More Post a comment

I Love

I Love

Give us, Lord, a bit o’ sun,A bit o’ work and a bit o’ fun:Give us all in the struggle and SputterOur daily bread and ... More Post a comment

The Gates of Mercy

The Gates of Mercy

Visit the sick, it is said in scripture, somewhere. I try to do that when indicated, possibly because it is pretty much always the last ... More Comment (1)

Poor Dad

Poor Dad

It would have been two weekends ago, All Souls (morphed along our border into Day of the Dead), a date I have had fun with ... More Comments (4)

Brizz's Body Count

Brizz's Body Count

Shall I give Halloween a rest? I don’t much think so. Why me? In fact, I notice it growing on me day by day, and ... More Post a comment

Halloween Dream

Halloween Dream

Fall is the most fun season to write in and about. I have exhausted the famous Hemingway quote to F. Scott Fitzgerald in one of ... More Comments (2)

The Dark Side

The Dark Side

Now is the onset of a delicious annual malady that might be called the Halloween syndrome, particular to Southern California. Why Halloween seems to be ... More Comment (1)

Buck Up, for Cripe's Sake

Buck Up, for Cripe's Sake

I am, I guess you could say, a bit of a cutup. It’s true. I’m known for my wry sense of humor in certain circles, ... More Comments (3)

This Is The End

This Is The End

As always, it is a little odd writing this column at something of a remove, a matter of a week or two, sometimes as much ... More Comments (2)

The Angry Malcontent: A Musical

The Angry Malcontent: A Musical

Only three months until Christmas! It’s enough to throw me into a panic now, weeks earlier in September. This gives rise to my thoughts this ... More Comment (1)

Dad, Do You Have to Smoke?

Dad, Do You Have to Smoke?

Visitation weekends are an anxiety experience for Baldwin, punctuated by sheer bliss. Baldwin is in his 50s and lives in Mission Hills. His little boy ... More Post a comment

I'm Watching Too Much TV

I'm Watching Too Much TV

Over halfway through September. I can’t wait. I’m still stuck here in these dog days, maybe all of us are. My sentences are too long. ... More Comments (2)

Note to Trailer Park Patriots

Note to Trailer Park Patriots

Sitting down to write this column, I checked the exact date this would appear and was immediately transported to that morning of 9/11/01. It is ... More Comments (13)

My Mother and the Balloon Animals

My Mother and the Balloon Animals

Many people will tell you, when the subject comes up, that one’s dreams are uninteresting to others. I do not find that to be the ... More Comments (4)

Summer in Chicago

Summer in Chicago

The end of summer is at hand, and I may well miss it. Jumping the gun a bit, but not by much, I find myself ... More Comment (1)

America's Finest Fridays

America's Finest Fridays

We San Diegans are a self-congratulatory lot; the weather itself is, to us, a kind seal of approval on our meritocracy. After 28 years here, ... More Comment (1)

I am, in fact, very much related to Conan the Barbarian and, by extension, the governor of California

I am, in fact, very much related to Conan the Barbarian and, by extension, the governor of California

It will have been some weeks after the San Diego comic convention by the time this sees print, but it hasn't happened yet as I ... More Comment (1)

SciFi Summer

SciFi Summer

Hot enough for you? I’m counting on the heat still being a predominant if subliminal influence this first week of August. As I often do ... More Comments (2)

Intellectual Delinquents

Intellectual Delinquents

This last weekend of the month I find myself in Mission Valley, poolside at the Promenade luxury-resort condominiums, across the street from Sears. I’m with ... More Comment (1)

The Vagaries of Publishing

The Vagaries of Publishing

In six weeks or so it will be nine years since I started this column in 1999. “TGIF” was the brainchild of senior editor Judith ... More Comment (1)

I’ll pretty much dismiss Adam Sandler’s entire body of work.

I’ll pretty much dismiss Adam Sandler’s entire body of work.

The price of gas. I  don’t know how many times  I’ve been asked, “When are you going to write something about the price of gas?” ... More Post a comment

Blackwood

Blackwood

“Blackwood stopped writing here, unsure how to proceed. Was he writing a column for The Free Weekly (otherwise known as the Freek), his column — ... More Post a comment

Dependence Day

Dependence Day

Thoughts on Independence Day: I have very little at the moment. Independence, I mean. I have plenty of thoughts, Bub. I’m back in the hospital ... More Comments (2)

Best Man?

Best Man?

This approaching Sunday, the 29th, will be the birthday, assuming he is still living, of Andrew “Legend” Stevens. Andrew was best man at my wedding ... More Post a comment

Crossroads

Crossroads

As I begin this I am looking out the back door onto the rain-spattered deck, which in turn looks out on a common garden area ... More Post a comment

The Whole Friday the 13th Thing

The Whole Friday the 13th Thing

I suppose it can be classed as a superstition that I have an irrational fear of things going too well. I look forward to these: ... More Comments (3)

The Swordsmen

The Swordsmen

This is being written amid days in a row of May Gray. It may be a safe bet that you are reading it in the ... More Post a comment

I'm Afraid of Americans

I'm Afraid of Americans

I am sitting on my patio in mild shadow under the blades of a broad-leafed banana tree and late-spring sky washed with high clouds like ... More Comment (1)

The Devil and a Friend of His

The Devil and a Friend of His

“They were strict vegetarians, even shunning eggs, and throwing away any food that the ‘shadow of an Englishman had crossed.’ ” This is a quote ... More Post a comment

The Gift of Music

The Gift of Music

Did you miss Mother’s Day? Did you fail to observe it and your mother is still alive? I did for many years, even as a ... More Post a comment

Beethoven and the Ladies

Beethoven and the Ladies

“He had become a public figure, as no composer had done before. Unlike composers of the preceding generation, he had never been a purveyor of ... More Post a comment

Like Young

Like Young

ZZ Top, those Southern Dukes of Riff Rock, will be at Harrah’s Rincon Casino a week from this Saturday night, the tenth. I’d like to ... More Comments (5)

Taking Dancing for Granted

Taking Dancing for Granted

I am asked fairly often what I write about, and I can’t let it go as simply “Fridays.” There is love, death, cabbages, kings, my ... More Comments (13)

Let the Old Brain Percolate

Let the Old Brain Percolate

The dates attached to Thursday through Sunday of this week, or rather weekend, have a series of associations for me. Let me have my coffee, ... More Comment (1)

You Should Go to Church

You Should Go to Church

I have pretty much done this anyway, but I should make a more formal proclamation, I suppose, that TGIF encompasses weekends as well as Fridays ... More Comments (5)

Voices of the Damned

Voices of the Damned

Spring is in the air and a young man’s fancy turns to thoughts of love. My thoughts are turning to an old love this morning ... More Comments (4)

Cavalcade of Raunch

Cavalcade of Raunch

There is no way around it, not for several more weeks; I can’t get out, cruising on crutches to look into neat stuff to do ... More Comments (2)

Bad Winters

Bad Winters

Friday, today, I took a taxi to the office. The driver looked familiar, though I had forgotten his name. He told me but wishes to ... More Comments (2)

Oprah and Mr. Frey

Oprah and Mr. Frey

I am not alone this Friday. Much of the county — certainly North County, where I am holed up, my foot encased in fiberglass and ... More Comments (3)

Greeks in the Streets

Greeks in the Streets

“With some important exceptions, scholars and translators, from the 19th Century onwards, have been virtually at one in their indifference to Seven Against Thebes; an ... More Comments (6)

Welcome to Tool Town

Welcome to Tool Town

Tourism is, of course, huge in this town. Myself, I never thought of San Diego as a destination. I’d given the place pretty much no ... More Comments (2)

So Much Comedy, So Little in My Life

So Much Comedy, So Little in My Life

San Diego Theatresports: The Funhouse (6822 El Cajon Boulevard) When: Fridays at 7:45 p.m. Saturdays at 7:45 p.m. Saturdays at 9:45 p.m. “A cross between ... More Comments (3)

Improv Comedy Night

Improv Comedy Night

I am looking forward, many weeks down the road, to getting out on a Friday in this town, a payday for me like millions — ... More Comments (3)

Treacherous Bodies

Treacherous Bodies

Checking online listings for things I am missing out on (as I recuperate with a broken foot I’ve gone on about), especially Fridays, I happened ... More Comments (12)

Lewis Black

Lewis Black

It has been suggested, and rightly so, that I have gone a bit far afield regarding what’s going on in San Diego on Friday nights. ... More Comments (2)

The Mayflower

The Mayflower

Friday nights here at what I will call the Mayflower Villa Apartments in San Marcos are a far cry from what goes on those same ... More Comment (1)

I look happy in that home movie, and that was long before I learned to fake happiness.

I look happy in that home movie, and that was long before I learned to fake happiness.

My original thought here was to write something about winters in the near future — you know, with global warming in mind and all — ... More Comment (1)

He discovered my humanity, warts writ large, and only my death can redeem me.

He discovered my humanity, warts writ large, and only my death can redeem me.

Thank God it’s January. All of January is the New Year, I’d say, and the equivalent of a Saturday morning on a close-up of a ... More Post a comment

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Win Movie Passes to Hotel for Dogs!

When their new guardians forbid 16-year old Andi (Emma Roberts) and her younger brother, Bruce (Jake T. Austin) to have ... More